Hunger

Of all the spiritual disciplines, I think that fasting is one that I do the least. I recently spent some time thinking fasting and would like to share some thoughts. Firstly, let me say that Jesus fasted and that should be enough reason to do it. Here are some other plus’s to fasting. Fasting makes us hungry, it rejects the flesh, it creates time in busy days, it cleanses us/jumpstarts us, makes our bodies week and tired. Fasting, in my opinion, is very hard work. I’ll also say that I like food. I grew up with a mom who could really cook good. Then I married a girl who loves cooking and making deserts. Then, I had a couple kids, so I am always cleaning off their plates.

As I started thinking about fasting, it dawned on me how relational our meal times are. In order to skip meals, one may find themeselves missing community. We as a society, plan our days around meal times. We schedule lunch or dinner meetings or meet for drinks of one kind or another. When we have a real appetite for something in particular, we most often invite others to partake with us. I have seen so many be so generous to others, while at the same time feeding their appetites. I do the exact same thing. I justify gratifying what I want by including others into the fuflillment of it. I am not talking just about food now. It might be entertainment of some kind. A little bitty indulgence. We won’t admit we don’t have self control because we are doing it in community. Soon our lives get driven by meeting these hungers. It becomes a routine to eat huge meals right after church, or spend whole days watching every football game on t.v., or getting on the internet every ten minutes to check out everyone’s facebook status. This country and our church’s have become lethargic and self indulgent. Somehow it crept in.Discernment is at an all time low, disception is at an all time high. Instead of partaking of the body and the blood each week as a church, we partake in the loudest rock, brightest lights, free coffee, and shortest service. Then off to satisfy the rest of fleshly desires.

I’m lashing out because i noticed that these are my tendancies. The Sermon on the Mount says blessed are the hungry. I had to learn to like coffee. I had to learn to understand football. I have to be intensional to feed myself.

Hungering for God, I think, is the same way. Fasting quickens that process. It’s me telling my body, “NO MORE!” I don’t want to conform to this world. I don’t want to give in even if it means I miss out on community. As I was thinking about fasting I realized that I am fat. Not just physically over weight. I am able to sit down and talk about the latest t.v. shows and movies, I am able to talk sports (at least NBA and NFL), I can tell give you restaurant options for whatever your craving, I can tell you about the cars I want, …do you get where I am going? I have taught myself to hunger for the things of this world but God gave me an example through His Son Jesus how I can battle my flesh.

Fasting. And when I am hungry for God, I invite others to join me when I seek to satisfy that craving. When I am planning my day, it is around meeting with Christ. Like most spiritual disciplines, when I am making habits of them I am joyful and satisfied. I find myself hearing God and effectivly loving people. I would challenge you to spend one day saying no to your flesh. Give up food and drink, entertainment and distraction. Get quiet and seek the Lord and all that He has for you. And in the end, you will be satisfied.

Beloved

Your Beloved

I woke up last night with great anxiety from a dream. In my dream, I was going to a wedding. The wedding was for Danielle (who I am married to in real life) and some guy that I never saw in the dream or heard his name (good because I would be very upset with him in real life). The wedding was at a beautiful venue. It was a two story building with dark wood railings and stairs and seats. I remember arriving and my heart was being torn apart as i made my way through the crowd. Everything inside of me was crying out for Danielle. Everyone knew that I loved her. She knew that I loved her. And yet, she had chosen another. Internally I was overcome by emotions. Weeping over the loss of her love. Externally, I was barely holding it together. I was like a pile of sticks and leaves in a stream that is about to be over-run by the swollen pond it is creating. She was allowed to choose, and i wasn’t hurt because she had cheated on me. I was broken because she was the beloved of my heart.

I awoke anxious and disturbed. My bride lay next to me, peacefully asleep. She had no idea what the dream her had just put me through. I pulled her close as if to reassure myself that she was real  and was mine. All day I put it out of my mind. But this evening, as I was able to unwind and start processing the day, the dream came back to me. My chest became tight as i again felt the emotions of my love going out and not being received. I began asking God to speak to me and it was then I started thinking through my dream in another way. I began to think of myself as His beloved. In John 17 Jesus tells His Father that He desires that I could be with Him and that I could see His glory. His desire is for me, for me to know and see Him. His heart is broken as he sees that I have chosen to give my love to another. It is my choice who to love. And I know that He loves me. Everyone knows He loves me.

As I thought about the dream, I wasn’t anguishing over the fact that I was cheated on or that she had given herself to someone else to satisfy some desire. I was genuinely feeling the heart of God as his beloveds heart is given to another. But now I am awake. I choose Him. I am His and He is mine.

Lord, who am I compared to your glory. Oh Lord. Lord who am I, compared to your majesty. I am your beloved. Your creation. And you love me as I am. You have called me chosen, for your kingdom. Unashamed to call me your own. I am your beloved.

Behold!

In the book of John, we see him identified as the prophesied Elijah (1:23). The one who was come to prepare the way of the Lord. He came testifying of the one to come after him, this ‘one’ who would take away the sin of the world. And one amazing thing is that John, at the time Jesus was baptized, did not have full knowledge that Jesus was the Son of God. He says he didn’t know him but came baptizing that Jesus might be revealed.

When Jesus comes to John to be baptized (we’ll come back to this) John says to the multitudes, “BEHOLD, the lamb of God.” John was speaking prophetically as he was being used by the Holy Spirit. He had no idea what Jesus was going to do. Jump forward to chapter 19 and we see Jesus in chains in the custody of Pilate. Again we see a prophet statement as the Holy Spirit uses a man and Pilate says to the multitudes, “BEHOLD, your king.”

Both these revelations are pointing us to the cross, the crux of history and the ultimate display of God’s love. You see, baptism is an outward sign of an inward change. In baptism, we are identifying with the death and resurrection of Christ (Romans 6:5). John was baptizing people in the wilderness with a baptism for the remission of sins. Jesus did not need that baptism. He had no sin. But, we do know that He only did the Fathers will. God wanted him to be baptized. And i think that he was giving us an indication of what was coming. When he went down into the water and came back up, it was a fore shadow of his death and resurrection.

In Matthew’s account, John tells Jesus that he should be baptizing John, not the other way around. He tells him that Jesus should be baptizing him, but Jesus said that it needed to be that way to fulfill all righteousness. 2 chapters later in Matthew 5, he says he did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill the law (the cross). The righteous requirments of the law determined that me, a sinner, deserved to die for my evil. God the Son satisfied that requirement on the cross. I can rest in the “it is finished” knowing that he fulfilled all the righteous requirements of the law.

Ultimately the whole of history and the whole of God’s Word is about this. It’s all about Beholding Christ and remembering His sacrifice. Today, I would encourage and challenge you to Behold HIm. Remember the cross, meditate on the Love of God that was shown through that death and resurrection. And get baptized!

Those He calls

Life is a funny thing. I am currently about to transition a bit and am asking myself questions about calling and God’s will and how to serve and lead my family. It’s easy to get caught up in several aspects of these thoughts.

As I read through the Old Testament, lets just take Exodus as an example, God is very specific in what he has called and gifted people to do. He called Bezalel (Ex. 35:30) and filled him with the Holy Spirit, with skill, with art and with craftsmanship so that he could build the articles for the Lord’s tabernacle. A specific task or calling that the Lord provided the man and the means.

So, as I am thinking about transition, I am asking myself:

How am I seeking my calling?

Am I making myself available to do God’s task(s)?

What gifts has he endowed to me, and how can I use them to do His will?

What part of my search does having a desire to provide security for my family play into it?

What is God birthing/growing in me TODAY?

I am feeling mixed emotions as I seek clarity to these questions. I desperately want to honor the Lord and grow in my knowledge of Him and His ways. I think this means putting Him first, trusting in Him, asking Him for His opinion and obeying. By being the best at these, I’ll be the best Adam.

I’m also feeling like it doesn’t matter what I do, I just need to make some money to take care of business and offer financial security to my family. Pay the bills. He has called me to be a provider, father and husband, No doubt about that.

So, I guess I have anxieties, fears and anticipations tugging at different parts of my heart. I only pray that God would use me. I want to be in that sweet spot of abiding in Him.

Anticipation

Titus 2:11-14 ,  For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

Every part of our lives teaching us about our God and prepares us for eternity with him. From my own experience I have learned the excitement of anticipation. When I was engaged, my fiance and I were looking forward to fully knowing each other. Being able to give ourselves fully to each other and open up physically, emotionally, mentally, everything. Those months of holding back were not wasted months. Instead of giving in to what we wanted in the moment, we learned a little bit about anticipation.

Then, again when we found out we were pregnant, we learned more. Waiting 9 months, getting to see/hear the heartbeat, getting to see the ultrasound of a life starting. We had so many questions about this little one. Would it be a boy or girl? What would they be like? Would we be good parents? Would they look like us? Month after month went by with our hearts getting eager for that to do come when we could meet face to face.

Anticipation is an eager desire. A yearning and longing to fulfill a deep ‘want’ inside you. As much as I ‘wanted’ the security of knowing and being known by my wife, and as much as I ‘wanted’ to see and know my daughters, these were opportunities and lessons from God.

Titus 2 tells us we need to eagerly anticipate the return of Savior Jesus Christ. We need to rest in the “It is finished” of the cross, knowing that while we are here on this earth the battle is won. Christ is sufficient. We can spend ourselves doing the good things that God has for us and anticipating Him.

my girls

Future Hope

On a side note, on Friday, January 23rd my second daughter was born. She is healthy and my wife and I are going to name her Eden. Thus begins this next chapter of my life. I am a father of two. WOW!

As i was reading the Bible this morning, I was thinking about my daughter and so was reading Proverbs 23 to see if I could get inspired with a middle name for her. But instead the Lord spoke to me of this desperate time I get to live in. Everyone is looking for someone to follow or something to believe in to give them hope and a better future. And I am everyone. I want to be taken care off. I want to provide for me and my family.

It seems like so many people have so much more than I do. Nicer cars or bigger houses or bigger paychecks. The things of this world can be so appealing. The physical things that we call our hobbies and toys. They are not bad in themselves and even bring some fun into our lives. But even the few toys I have gotten get old, especially when I see one thats newer/bigger/better. Proverbs 23:17-18 speaks to this ‘me first’, ‘if its broke get a new one’ generation.

     “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day. Surely there is a future and your hope will not be cut off.”

The hope of my generation is not in getting out of our parents debt. It is not in having the hottest cars, hottest clothes and hottest women. It is not in being part of the biggest or newest ministry. It is not in any president or political/religious leader. It is not in overcoming religious barriers to join hands with other religions to fight whatever cause. It IS in God through Jesus. I’ll say it again, the hope of my generation is in God through Jesus. It’s an old idea that has always worked and will continue to work. Its the idea of propitiation. Christ exchanging his holy, pure, righteousness for my sinful, dirty, worthless live. Now you and I know that this is not an equal trade, but God so loved the world that he sent His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have a future and their hope will not be cut off. 

JESUS IS OUR FUTURE AND HOPE!

New Year

So, I’m a lousy blogger. I know. In my defense, a friend of mine is trying to set up my site (he’s been very busy with actual work) and I am not real happy with the ‘under construction’ mode. So, no pictures for now, but I will try to write more.

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years have come and gone. Danielle and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary last month as well. I look back over the year and see all the ’stuff’ we did and how we were able to face adversity and trust in God. And, I know this doesn’t accomplish anything, when I think over each decision we made and the way we spent our resources (time, money, relationships), I do feel some regret. 

Above all else, my cry for my marriage from day one has been for Christ to be glorified and recognized. And I can’t help but feel guilty because in so many areas we are not set apart. There have been too many days in 08 where I relied on my own strength. Too many days when my heart was not broken over sin and only beating to please God. The real problem is that I do not act out of ignorance. I know what the best thing for my marriage is. It’s to seek God’s grace early in the day and every day and to pray for my wife and for God’s heart for her. I know what is right and wrong and sometimes choose wrong. How is watching movies or playing sports or any hobby beneficial to eternity? 

All that being said, I will enjoy this new year. God has given me certain blessings and has given them for my enjoyment. But I want this year to be marked not by what I do, I want this year to be marked by what God does. Why can’t this be a year of revival of hearts? Why can’t this year be a year when dear friends of mine trust in Jesus? 

So this year, I want to live radically for Jesus. And I know this will bring question marks. The scripture lets me know what that life has in store. It’s hardship, ridicule, rejection, joy, blessing, and Jesus. Praise God that His mercies are new every morning. His goodness has no end. He still answers prayer, His word is still truth, and He loves me.

May you experience the Shalom of God this year.

Christmas

j

Family

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Up where I live, it’s like 35 degrees out but the wind is blowing like 40 mph making it below freezing. We are warm inside, and are finding joy in this busy season. We have already taken part in 4 Christmas parties. And though we have been consumed by getting things ready to do ministry this season and planning/going to parties, I will not get lost this Christmas.

As I take time this morning to meditate on Christ, I don’t picture a baby in a manger. John 3:16 reminds us that God loved us so much he sent Jesus, and whoever believes in him will have eternal life. I don’t want to get into explaining propitiation, but Jesus is our Savior because He saved us from our sins. As I meditate on Christ at Christmas, I picture the cross. Without the immaculate conception, Christ wouldn’t have been perfect, but without the cross and empty tomb, we wouldn’t have redemption. 

This Thursday I get to preach to the Middle School ministry at my church (i’m the Middle School Assistant Director) and of course am going to preach Jesus. For my scripture, I chose 1 John 4:7-11. And in that passage it affirms what Christmas is about. It says, “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

Christ came and died and rose. Christ gave his life, the perfect human life, for you to live. He takes our lives, the dirty sinful lives, and kills them. We get to step into the love of the Son for the Father. This week, look to the cross for a reminder of what Christmas is about.

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow we celebrate my daughters 1 year birthday. That alone is enough for me to thank God for. I’m celebrating a year of health and joy for her. A year where I saw my 5 week pre-mature daughter have to stay at the hospital for an extra 11 days. She learned how to eat, sit up, smile and laugh, crawl, walk, say momma and dadda, grow teeth, and spread joy. She has been to Mexico once, Oregon 5 times, Hawaii twice. She has traveled on a cruise ship, a motor boat, a plane, a car and a stroller. She has been to weddings and a funeral. 
She has brought joy and revelation of God to her parents. We have grown up and become more of the people God designed us to be. I love her and am so grateful to be her father here on earth. I love protecting and providing for her. God has truly given me His Fathers heart, and I am ruined. The love of a father is so strong, there is nothing i wouldn’t do for my baby girl. I also love showing her how a husband is to love his wife. 
This thanksgiving season I am going to be posting of some things I am thankful for. I would be very encouraged if you would leave a comment of some of your blessings.
GOD IS GOOD.